Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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