She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
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We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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