once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
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$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
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I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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