I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize