so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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