I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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