who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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