I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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