At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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