i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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