your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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