hotel room ftw
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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