so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize