I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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