how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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