So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize