When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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