I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize