and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
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There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
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nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So apparently I’m into choking now
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