so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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