Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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