It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize