Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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