He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize