no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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