Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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