Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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