Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize