I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize