Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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