do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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