I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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