I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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