I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize