Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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