I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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