Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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