i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there's paper in my vomit.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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