im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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