Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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