i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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