my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize