It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize