I heard we made out
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize