She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize