I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize