Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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