who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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