I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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