Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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